If I were writing a pilot for a new TV show it would be about two people who struggle with the way they do things differently. I would call the program If I say Black, you say White. It has always been apparent that Fred and I are different. We are the exact opposite. If we got to an unmarked fork in the road, he would go one way and I would go the other.
This would lend itself to endless episodes. One specific would be driving and navigating and trying to get to a specific destination. Even with a GPS, my right brain would click on the map and Fred would click on the linear written directions. If I say make right by the green house, he would ask for the direction north, south etc. We absolutely drive our own way.
A true-life episode around the holidays would be about simple decisions like Christmas shopping. I would want the shopping done before Thanksgiving, Fred would wait until Christmas Eve and then the stores would all be closed so there would be no gifts.
Women often get accused of taking too long to get ready in the morning because of primping. This is not who I am. I throw on a top and pants, pair of matching converse and run a comb through my hair. Fred, however, has every hair in place and not a wrinkle in sight. He looks like it is Sunday every day, even in his scrubs. He is very handsome.
We pack differently, fold or hang the clothes differently, arrange cans in cupboard our own way, file our papers with our own systems. God knows Fred can’t figure my system out.
I like the dark meat; Fred likes white meat. He likes spicy; I like mild, I like thin spaghetti; he likes fat. He likes mustard; I like mayo. It goes on and on and on.
There would be episodes about how to cook a pot roast, how to make a sandwich, how to cut the crusts off bread. There would be an episode on how to make coffee, chocolate shake, fry an egg, butter toast and pay the bills. There would be a “to be continued” cliffhanger about the toilet paper roll and the way to put it on the holder.
But the bottom line is even though I take risks and Fred likes to think things through, we are like Ying and Yang, Salt & Pepper, Jack Sprat and his wife, we fit. We laugh and we love and we respect that all of our differences are the reasons we fell in love with one another 40 years ago.