If you are a product of the sixties, you can relate to this motherhood syndrome. It is where you try like hell to make things equal. It starts all the way back to the day you bring them home from the hospital. You make decisions based on is it fair and you fail miserably. I remember I brought Jaime home from the hospital in the exact same outfit, had her Christened in the same dress and so on and so on. Now years later, I am stuck with boxes of stuff because how do you pick who to pass it on to???
In grade school you sign up to be room mother at a time when you are overworked and stressed because after all you were Annie’s room mother and it would not be fair. At Christmas, you carefully try to juggle the amount of money you spend and have the same amount of boxes under the tree for them to open.
When they were teenagers I hated to hear the words “It is Not Fair. She gets to do this, she gets to ride in the front seat, she can stay up later. I threatened to put the words on their tombstone one day. Consequently, I tried to instill the point that sometimes life is not fair. These words come back to haunt me because they remind me often when I am droning on and on about my current life problems.
You might wonder what prompted today’s blog. It is guilt. I wished Annie Happy Birthday on my blog. Looking back to September I realized I could have done the same thing with Jaime on her birthday. The only excuse I can come up with is I was a neophyte blogger and learning how I could come up with topics to express myself and have a voice.
Jaime, I will even things out soon, I know I owe you a blog tribute.