Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Put Me in the Home when....

…. I carry a straw purse bigger than me and it becomes a bottomless pit.
…. I blast EWTN at three o’clock in the morning.
…. I put BBQ sauce on my pancakes.
…. I never smile at anything.
…. I have no favorite song.
…. I am not ticklish.
…. I think I am going to hell for doing work on Sunday.
…. I have no less than twenty religious statues and plaques.
…. I wear a large scapular because if I die wearing it, I will go straight to heaven.
…. I put three scoops of Benefiber in my coffee and wonder why I have diarrhea.
…. I become obsessed with whether I have a bowel movement DAILY.
…. I put dirty dishes away in the cupboard.
…. I break my dentures and refuse to go out in public.
…. I put dirty clothes in the dryer.
…. I iron the same piece of clothing for twenty minutes and wonder why it scorched.
…. I leave the water on in bathroom for entire afternoon.
…. I swing open the car door and slam into the adjacent parked car’s door.
…. I try to take something from the dog’s mouth and wonder why he bit me.

You Gotta Laugh


  1. I follow you until the dog comment. Cappy should know better.

  2. I am doing some of these things already. Does that mean I am going into a home. I am kind of looking forward to it!!!